Bittersweet Weekend

My weekends are normally kinda dull. Well maybe dull isn't the right word, they are pretty busy - but nothing over the top exciting.
This weekend will be bittersweet for me.
I'm going out with my best friend. To a bar (which almost never happens), and I will probably get really drunk (which also almost never happens), and I will make a complete fool of myself (which happens a lot).

It sounds like fun -BUT we are going out together JUST IN CASE it's the last time we can.

My best friend of 20 years is having brain surgery on April 12th. The list of things that can happen to her are really freakin scary. The top 2 - Death and getting paralyzed.  It's scary to think that the one person that you can tell anything to could be gone in the blink of an eye. I love her like she's my sister, and my kids call her their aunt. I'm so scared that something bad will happen and that her kids will be left without the most wonderful thing in their lives. I'm scared that her great husband will be a widower at 25. I'm scared that I will be left without the person that I can be a total dork with, the person that I have grown up with, and the person that is my rock.

All these fears have been boiling up inside of me for the last week. Every time I think about her surgery I have to hold back the tears. They still seem to find a way to overflow. When I think of the future, I always think of her and I in the "beauty shop, gossip going not stop, sipping on pink lemonade". I picture us being the crazy old ladies at our children's weddings that STILL get up to sing karaoke without even thinking twice. I hope that we get the chance.

It's so hard to put on a brave face for her when I am so not brave. It's not easy to think positive, but I really am trying to. If you have been there and done that with brain surgery, please share. If you have any kind of advice, I would love to hear it.

Thanks for reading.