I'm not fine.

Wednesday night I woke up in the middle of the night by MOST horrible pain I have ever felt. Worse than childbirth, seriously. I come out in the living room where my hubby was still awake, playing video games (naturally). I pretty much fall down in the hall grabbing my stomach and crying. The only way I know how to explain how it felt is to say that something needed to come out, like there was something inside me clawing me. I know it sounds stupid. It was low like it was in my baby parts. My first thought was a tubal pregnancy, then I thought it was my IUD.

I tell him I think that I need to go to the hospital and he says, "You should go lay back down for a bit, you probably ate something bad, your fine, you just need to rest."
Mother fucker... I'm not fine. I hate hospitals, I wont go to unless I'm having a baby or unconscious.

I drove myself, I have no clue how I got there in one piece, but I did. BUT by the time I got there it stopped hurting so bad. I went in they did all their tests, and poked me 12,568 times. I had a high white blood cell count. The norm is like 10,000 mine was 17,000. So, they kept me. I couldn't sleep until they gave me some amazing drugs. I can't remember what it was... but I really liked it.

They did some testing the next day and the OBGYN came to see me. We talked about getting my IUD taken out because that *could* be the cause, but they weren't sure. I don't want anymore babies. I like the little bit of sanity I have. So, I said we would wait on that.

The doc says my pain was from ovulation. Really? I've obviously ovulated (hee hee) for the better part of 15 years and never felt anything like that. There was still something wrong because I have a high white blood cell count, so there is infection somewhere. They wanted to keep me another night, but I refused. After talking to my hubby off and on that day, I really wanted my kids to remain in one piece and lately I don't think he is competent. They gave me total of 5 bags of antibiotics and I went home. Still feeling like shit.

Before I left though I got a text from him. He was sick. Every single time he don't get enough sleep he gets a headache. Every single time he gets a headache, he starts vomiting. I don't understand it, but it never fails.
I come home to my house being destroyed and my kids not fed. He's half awake in the chair with a puke bowl next to him. Great.
I half assed get the kids fed, and ready for bed. Then I have to help him. Why? He must think I'm invincible, because again - I'm NOT fine. Normally, I wouldn't be irritated with him for being sick. BUT I really felt horrible.

I wake up today and get the kiddo ready for school. Then I get the call - "Sheila, can you take me somewhere? By the way, how ya feeling?" I wanted to say Sure why not? Just got out of the hospital yesterday, I'm still sick, but hey I'll run ya wherever you want. Instead I said sure, I'm fine. Then, my mom calls and needs me to take her somewhere tomorrow morning by 9 am. Again, I say yes. I did it to myself though, because I can't say no.

Something is still wrong with me. I still need to be fixed, and I'm not fine. My belly hurts every time I move, and it feels like my girls parts are falling out. I'm waiting until after Sunday because my little man's birthday party, and I'm going back to get things checked out. But I'm not fucking fine, it's obvious. If one more person asks me to help them or expects me to be up to par I'm going to scream!

Sorry, this was a longer than expected - guess I needed to vent more than I thought!